With the release of season three of Sunderland ‘til I Die this week, the narcissist in me decided to re-binge watch the first two seasons beforehand. This served two purposes. The first was to re-live and remind me of the abject misery all Sunderland supporters felt at the time to then maximise the enjoyment of watching season three, knowing the outcome of that glorious weekend in London where we finally escaped the bog of eternal stench that is League One football. The second, was to take a retrospective look back on each season to see if my thoughts or feelings have changed since I last watched them (when we were still languishing with the likes of Oxford, Burton and Fleetwood).
The initial planned retrospective review of seasons one and two will be penned once I’ve recovered from the nightmares. However, what stood out for me as somebody who struggles with anxiety and depression, is that the topic of mental health and wellbeing remained a constant subtle theme throughout each season. Regardless of the connection to SAFC, be it as a supporter, player, manager, owner, staff member, a kid in the academy, or other – we're only human, and endure human emotions and feelings.
Sometimes those emotions and feelings spill out. Sometimes they erupt or make you do or say something you regret in hindsight. We saw plenty of this on STID. Obviously, the more time, money and emotional energy you’ve invested in the club, the more the pain of relegation or elation of promotion is felt. When you see a boyish George Honeyman close to sobbing after relegation to League One, or lifelong supporters distraught after another Wembley loss, it’s a hard watch and bitter pill to swallow. It’s also heartwarming in the same moment, because it shows those that invest that emotional energy all for the club. Clearly there were those within the club when seasons one and two were filmed that didn’t give a damn about the club, city, community, team-mates or supporters. Lewis Grabban anyone?
We all cope differently with our emotions and mental health. When you see Jack Baldwin discussing being crippled with fear of making a mistake, Tom Flanagan recounting the time when he got abuse from a supporter in front of his wife and newborn in Tesco, Luke O’Nien reflecting on getting hooked off at half time on his debut, or Jonny Williams having a session with a sports psychologist because he has no self-confidence, it humanises the players. Darren Gibson’s relationship with alcohol was an indicator of where his mental health was at the time, and difficult to watch play out on TV. Then there’s the stuff we didn’t get to see in the time between seasons two and three such as Grant Leadbitter taking time away from the game to focus on his mental health after his mam passed away, Aiden McGeady getting banished to the U21’s, staff such as long-serving kit man John Cooke getting made redundant, or the many academy players who get released every season’s end. For every Chris Rigg that makes it, there are another bus load that don’t. Then there’s the impact Covid-19 had on everyone who used going to the match as a means to offload emotions, socialise, meet up with family or friends etc.
The point I’m trying to make is that it doesn’t matter whether you are earning loads of money per week as a first team player, a chef at the academy, match day kiosk staff or one of the thousands who go to matches home and away - your mental health is intrinsically connected to your football club, and the match result. STID showcases this impeccably throughout - with the lows of seasons one and two and the highs of season three.
For me as a supporter, to cope with the stresses of supporting SAFC, I use taking my Caucasian Shepherd (Smudge) for a walk around Whitburn Village. When I do, I often pass through the graveyard and the grave of Whitburn born footballer, George H Farrow. He played mainly for Blackpool during the pre-war years, and typically scored his only goal of the 1938-39 season against us. When I pass his grave, I often wonder how players back in his playing days coped with their mental health during times of adversity. With WWII on the horizon, no doubt it was a worrying time, and it was usually a case of ‘man up’.
Thankfully, nowadays we have so many mental health support services available to us. Also, discussing our mental health is no longer dismissed, ignored or swept under the carpet. As well as the Samaritans, there is Andy’s Man Club, The Red Bench Project, the Walk and Talk trust, and so many other avenues and options. Season three of STID really brings the topic of mental health to the forefront of the viewer’s mind from the off – with the guys doing the swim in the sea and then the East Durham Veterans group set up by Andrew Cammiss and local MP Grahame Morris (who is a die-hard SAFC fan and someone I’ve spent many hours discussing footy with rather than Politics in the pub when I lived in Seaham).
I find it apt that the Beacon of Light is one of the local places where Andy’s Man Club meet on a Monday night. On the doorstep of the SOL, where so many lads and lasses ride the emotional rollercoaster that is supporting SAFC. Personally, I find Andy’s Man Club works for me, and I look forward to attending each week, and I know it helps many other men too.
Fast forward to the current football season, and the appointment of Michael Beale. The personal abuse he got is really disappointing from my point of view. Yes, it’s fine to be critical of someone’s performance in the job they do – especially as high profile as the SAFC manager. But isn’t it a step to far to hurl abuse online or at the match of a nasty, vindictive, personal nature? Did Tom Flanagan’s wife need to see her husband get abuse when away from work? Was it fine for Stewart Donald’s then pregnant partner to see how much personal abuse he received or Chris Coleman nearly scrapping with a supporter after getting called a prick? I don’t agree with the ‘they get paid enough so it comes with the territory’ mantra. When footballers are with family at the shops, or trying to find some normality in their lives, it’s not OK to verbally abuse them because they scored an own goal or missed a penalty. Hopefully lessons are learned, and moving forward, Michael Beale and everyone at the club will get the appropriate level of praise or criticism, rather than supporters resorting to some of the stuff that was highlighted in STID. Hopefully, everyone will get behind the manager & players as we head into the latter part of the season, because when it happens, it can make a positive difference to the outcome of the result and also the mental health of those tasked with getting the three points on a match day.