To paraphrase The Blues Brothers - I've been up since 6am, I'm dyslexic and I've been drinking with Fatha...
Last Monday was a hard one to take. We had largely weathered their storm and made the highest scoring team in the league throw absolutely everything they had at us for 95, but we still managed to scare them on more than one occasion. Wilson had increased his tally and his powerful run of form. I'd say that was probably Enzo's quietest outing. He was still exceptional and on one occasion he skinned a lad so well it made me giggle more than I'm comfortable to admit.
As well as the result, our subs hadn't done the trick which highlighted some shortcomings in our overall tactics. Yes, Samed and Poveda might need more minutes, but I think Mundle, Eli and Browne equally do too. Midweek RLB had defended this choice by saying he felt the intensity of the game was too much for those on the bench who were returning from injury. Sadly the only thing Samed has shown is that he's really good at falling over just before a we concede. Sorry Salis. I know that's a tough blow, but them's the breaks.
Having so many options in midfield is a bit of a conundrum when it comes to giving everyone decent game time. Eli has been unlucky despite his excellent form early in the season and Issy's accession. Plus our 17-year-old Hebburnion has kept the eponymous Enzo out of his favour position. Enzo, Jobe and Trai had really made an impact against Luton by creating beautiful triangles of play in the wide areas, at some points making us untouchable. Our overlaps and underlaps (?) had been brilliant. We hadn't seen as much of it on the right, but we'd still played well.
I don't like to suggest tactics but here's a crack at a formation I did that would accommodate everyone:
In goal: Anthony Patterson
Tony's produced some great saves recently when he's been called upon. I think he needs to shout a bit more though. I feel volume is part of being a keeper. I also think he should grow a massive handlebar moustache so he looks like the type of keeper from a cigarette card in the 50's. Back when cigarette where good for babies and the size of your moustache lowered your council tax...
Back four: Hume - Ballard - L09 - Cirkin
It's tough to say who's better out of Ballard and Meps, but they both bring different thing. Ballard's intensity since coming back has been a breath of fresh air. However, Meps has done nowt much wrong with his cool approach. But I've preferred Dan's energy since his return. Luke's risk-taking and mad adventures up the pitch shows just the character the squad needs. He also knows when to head a ball. Cirkin's concerted efforts to link up with Le Fee and Trai's support for Roberts' never-ending runs have both served us well.
Midfield: Roberts - Jobe - Rigg - Mayenda
There's no other way to put this - It's really hard to drop either Jobe or Captain Dan. But given Le Fee's strengths here's my thinking...
Roberts get's into those dangerous areas more often than not. One said area is apparently called 'Area 14'. No it's not a bargain bin X files rip off, it's the area that sits pretty much over the D on the edge of the box in the attacking half. Statistically most goals in the EFL and all other leagues come from this area. Paddy gets in there a lot, he's just yet to hit the mark. Jobe has been deployed behind our attacking midfielders and more recently, amongst them. He's done well in both of these role... apart from the habit he seems to have of ploughing up the pitch only to pass it backwards, giving up the ground he's made. I'm not here to be negative but I'm not here to blow smoke either. Basically I'm saying lets play him as a box-to-box midfielder, next to Rigg. At 17 he's still finding his feet exceptionally well. While we have a wealth of young talent I think he could learn a lot from playing alongside Browne, but he's doing fine without him though. Mayenda had a belter start to the season and despite being half his height he seems just as fast as Issy. I just think we need another forwards on the pitch. Jobe, Rigg and Roberts do really well at tracking back.
*Captain Dan...
Dan is fantastic. He's been quiet in the early parts of games recently but seems to get stronger as the match goes on. Basically, there's no reason he should be dropped at all.
Forwards: Enzo - Isidor
No, I don't think Enzo should be a striker. But given the way we pressed so well early in the season I think we'd benefit from our two lads in the middle (i.e Jobe/Rigg) sitting deeper with Enzo just in front behind Issy. While our wing backs and usually one of our centre backs have loved to press high and rotate with attacking players up the pitch, I think this same formula could benefit our style of play by putting Le Fee where he likes to be and giving us the potions of playing down the channels. We all know what Issy does, too.
I know that might seem a bit mad, but I'd like to add that the players mentioned above have had our highest match ratings of all our first team regulars. Anyway...
As we all now know what happened yesterday afternoon, here's a quick trip down memory lane before I squeeze as much levity as possible out of the match.
My most enjoyable trip to Hull (a sentence scarcely heard) was the day after my younger brother Ian's 21st birthday. The party involved fancy dress costumes so diverse someone even came dressed as our Ian. That night I got to see Darth Vader and Superman play pool, two different species of bear have a dance off and much later in the evening the same Darth Vader play Space Invaders on one of those arcade coffee tables. He lost.
I got in from the party, still dressed as Zorro about 6 in the morning. I know these days people say 'literally' a lot but I am not exaggerating at all when I say my head was on the pillow for literally one second before Fatha shouted that it was time to leave for the bus.
We got on the bus with heads as sore as they were fuzzy. My brother could remember very little from his birthday celebrations the night before. So, me and my mate Stainy decided to kindly take advantage of this opportunity and gleefully tormented our Ian by sending him mysterious text messages from Stainy's spare phone. The first message we sent said 'Thanks for last night x'. Ian didn't recognise Stainy's spare phone number and had no idea who the messages were coming from. He didn't say anything to us but from our seat further back on the bus we saw his hand hit his forehead and heard a sigh follow. Many miles and four messages later we decided to go all in with a message that said 'Thanks again, I had the best night of my life'. At this point our Ian span round, read all the messages out loud to us and said 'I don't even remember who she was!'. We burst out laughing, the jig was up and Ian called us some colourful names. 'Happy Birthday to yooou!' we sang. Before the match we stopped off in Beverley and had some oyster stout in a pub that still had gas powered lights. Said match ended with Ross Wallace scored in the dying moments and getting sent off for jumping in the crowd with his shirt off. Lovely stuff.
Anyway, that was 2006. This is now...
Saturday's early afternoon kickoff meant we were all aboard the fun bus by nine sharp, under the watchful eyes of Monty the bus hound. I told myself all day on Friday I was going to start the day on fizzy pop, but when 08:30 rolled around I found myself with a pint of black stuff in my hand. Keeping up with Fatha on drink is like trying to outrun a train on a pogo stick. Both experiences leave you equally disoriented.
We landed in Sunderland Spoons and settled ourselves at a table that also doubled as the evenings DJ booth. After I finished my scran and couldn't resist pushing a big red button in front of me that set the lights into disco mode. A good start.
RLB hadn't heard my psychic suggestions for a team selection and had gone with his usual line up that hadn't hit the mark of late.
We began in our usual fashion. Sadly our usual fashion has involved stopping the oppositions attack and passing the ball side to side or back over. This style has scraped some points, but it's an approach that doesn't inspire any confidence or passion. As usual though, I'd still managed to lose my voice in the opening minutes. Even quicker than when I went to see Idles last year. G.R.E.A.T.
As woeful as Hull's positions in the league is, their fans sang like they had been top of the league and played like they were unbeaten in 20. Fair player to the fishmongers.
18 minutes in, an apparent Patto fumble lead to the Wotsits taking the lead. I'd like to say it was against the run of play but during the opening period we'd run ourselves into several dead ends. A trend we'd continue with over the course of the 90. After a disallowed goal from a free kick their keeper decided on a lie down. A trend they would embrace through our the next 90.
Their number 22 followed suit and went down for the thirteenth time in as many minutes, giving their fans a chance to cheer and me a chance to make notes. Our first ball had not been good and we were making Hull look like Barcelona. Hull dominated and we hadn't been able to find any space. That lovely link-up play on the wing against Luton had gone. Where they'd got their passion and confidence from I've not idea. With not much else to write about, we went into half time one nil down to the fish men.
I went to check the quality of house beer at the SOL and the lad behind the bar randomly told me he'd managed to spend 300 quid last night whilst on the drink. Okay. For whatever reason the Hull fans came out with even more confidence in the second half, even having the audacity to give it the old 'ole, ole'. Hopped up on fish juice, I assume.
Enzo had taken a knock and we saw the welcome return of Mundle on the left. He definitely hasn't lost it but he was sadly unable to have much of an impact. Hull continued their time-wasting. I'm not having a go at them as we'd have done the same in their position. If the ref clamps down on it early on though, maybe we won't see as much of it? The most telling and startling aspect of the game was that Hull weren't scared of us at all.
Meps came on for Ballard due to injury and tried to push us up the pitch. At one point late on LO9 put himself so far up the field he was one on one with the keeper. What was I saying about his risk taking?
I checked with my Fatha and he confirmed that it was our worst display at home all season. Not only because we'd lost but because we'd made Hull look good.
I don't think I'm being unfair in saying Dan and Jobe sit too deep to impact the attacking play. That's definitely RLB's tactical choice though. It's really tricky to drop any of our stalwarts but for me Rigg or Neil need a rest in order to give Enzo a shot in the middle. Le Fee is too versatile to limited to using just one foot. The worst thing that will happen if we don't get promoted is we'll lose the option to buy him.
Are we ready to get promoted? No. But the most important approach now is that we build the team around the right players. Given the amount of talent who are 'one of our own' Reggie is being crushed between a rock and a hard place.
So anyway, that was my first home game of the season and our first home league loss of the season. I'm going to the Preston one too. If we lose then it's officially my fault.
Still fourth though.
Keep the faith,
GPD
