SOBS: COV

The Lads headed to that unhappiest of hunting grounds (no wins since John Moore's solitary SAFC goal in '85) and... needn't have bothered, turning in by far the worst performance of this, and many another, campaign. I don't want to write this any more than you want to read it, so please feel free to give up now and go for a lie down. Which is basically what the team did. Two down at the break, it was nowt short of a miracle that Coventry only added one after the break. To top things off, they had a drum.

A frosty start to the day gave way to wintery sunshine as we discussed the proposed 70% attendance rule for season tickets, the alleged attendance of Wild Bill Storey today (wearing a Jimmy Hill mask while selling energy drinks?) and why I was on the wrong side of the bus. At least the bus clock told the correct time, which we took as an omen. A bad one, as it turned out. Oh, and whether we'd try two up top again and if Issy had been given extra heading practice. We didn't stop off at Woodall services where the Mags, the Boro, and some of ours had a lively discussion over the sale of half and half scarves that was taking place there. It's the end of the game as we know it.

Here's a thought... what colour do Coventry play in? Why wear a sky blue Sunderland shirt?

Patterson 

Hume O'Nien Mepham Cirkin 

Neil(c) Bellingham 

Roberts Rigg Mundle 

Mayenda

... and a bench of Moore, Isidor, Anderson, Jones, Middlemas, Watson, Browne, Aleksic, and Seelt.

We defended the far end and kicked off... straight to Patto. Positive start? Nah, but at least we wore the stripes, and that was as good as it got. We conceded free kicks either side of five minutes, the first of which bounced around before being cleared and the second was knocked over. In the opening half hour we only got into their half twice and one of those was offside. On the second occasion Mundle and Mayenda swapped passes only for the latter to be off balance when he shot, and it trickled into the keeper's arms. Five minutes later came the inevitable opener for the home side when a low shot gave Patto no chance, and not that much longer after that came the second. A clumsy tackle produced a penalty that was tucked away neatly on 29.

Optimistic? Still an hour to go.

Pessimistic? Another hour of torture.

We got the latter. We did forge an attack in the dying embers of the half when Mayenda and Mundle set up Cirkin, but he slashed his shot wide of the near post. 

Nick Pickering was wheeled out for a cursory halftime concession to having played for both sides, then the same eleven trotted out for the second half. Surely a change would have been sensible, as one or two had simply not competed in the first half. An early scuffle in our box led to a card for Hume but not the opponent who'd instigated the business. I'd like to blame the ref for the whole sorry debacle, but I can't. He seemed a bit biased but we need more than that to blame, and there were plenty in striped shirts more worthy of our dissatisfaction. 

Ten minutes in, Isidor and Watson replaced Mundle and Neil, Rigg got booked, and we had to fling bodies about in our box to keep it at two. We then went mad, with Issy then Mayenda shooting wide before Watson's good work on the left allowed us a couple of shots that were blocked. Getting positive? Nah. Down went Cirkin with what looked like a hamster (I'll let autocorrect have that one, in a vain attempt to lighten the mood) and on came Seelt with 09 going to left back.

The third, when it inevitably arrived, was a predictable shambles by us, being eventually dinked over Patto, so we put Browne on for Roberts with about twelve to go. That'll get us three goals, like!

It didn't, and five added minutes were announced as we pleaded with the ref to just blow his whistle and put us out of our misery. He did, and our 40 year wait for a win in Cov goes on. They'd managed 21 shots to our six, and of those we'd only managed one on target, which was Mayenda's tappy lappy first half effort. Yellow cards for Hume and Rigg, an injury to Cirkin, and it all adds up to a bad day at the office, on the pitch, and on the bus home, and probably in the pub when we get back. Get that lot in the playoffs and we're properly goosed if we play anything like today.

Man of the Match? Oh, give over. Let's give it to Browne, as he wasn't on the field long enough to cost us. The best I can say of the rest is that Hume scared the life out of the home side with a tackle in front of the benches that nearly caused a riot. 

'nuff said, I think, other than the statistical news that we can't finish lower than last season. Whoop de bloody do.