“When you see the penalty on TV you’ll hit the roof” Perhaps it’s reverse psychology. I can’t think of anything else it could be. Surely not professional, or amateur, for that matter, could have shot themselves in the foot with such frightening regularity the since the start of the season.

Of course, I’m talking about them up the road. With their biggest game of the season, supposedly, on the horizon, what have they done in the last week?

• Watched former chairman Freddie Shepherd call them a calamity and a disaster on TV, and do a (deserved, mind) hatchet job on Celestine Babayaro.
• Had their manager produce yet another linguistic gaffe by referring to Charles N’Zogbia (who has been angling for a move away since August anyway) as Charles Insomnia
• Had the aforementioned Monsieur Insomnia playing the now customary but increasingly pathetic “disrespect/insult” card, saying “I will never play for Joe Kinner again as long as he is manager of Newcastle.” At least that’s how the Sun reported it – I suppose he’ll play for the Republic of Ireland should Joe ever get that job and find Sleepy’s grannie once had a fling with an Irish sailor. I wonder what will happen if Joke puts Insomnia’s name on the team sheet for this game? Another refusal? Silly tart.
• Had their best player over the last eleven years hoy in a transfer request because he’s sick right up to his gold fillings of the way the club has been run and the team managed.

On the plus side for the poor dears, they appear to have signed a decent player in Kevin Nolan, but to me that move smacks of money-grabbing above all else, unless he’s go the compulsory relegation get-out clause in his contract. Otherwise what is the point of a player at the peak of his powers moving from a club, who admittedly aren’t doing brilliantly, but seem to be well run, to a club that’s doing badly and are being run badly. The man’s either mad or both. As my mate Rob the mag said “Kevin Nolan? We’ll need all of his sisters as well to get anything pout of this season.”

We, on the other hand, don’t have that many more points than the mags, but seem so much more positive – and that’s both the club and the fans. Listening to Chris Hughton’s garbage on Sky Sports the other night, it’s not surprising that their poor deluded followers are losing faith. Perhaps much of it had to do with the midweek results, which, had they been fictitious, would surely have been attributed to the most optimistic Mackem on the planet. OK, so we only won by one goal, but a win was we wanted and a win was what we got. The mags got beat, Bellamy scored, Boro got beat, Blackburn and Bolton drew, Stoke and West Brom lost, and even Pompey continued their slide Championshipwards. Hull also continued not to win, leaving them just above our good selves. If I’ve missed any other meaningful results off that little list, I apologise, but you won’t have missed them. Another big plus is that we’ve still to play Stoke, West Brom, Bolton, Hull, Man City, and Portsmouth, and all of those games could have a big say for both teams in where they’ll finish the season.

Transfer window? Hardly much movement at SAFC, with the biggest news being the departures of Chimbo and Diouf – the latter for a teeny profit, in football terms, if Sky Sports are to believed. Shame about the pair of them, but Chimbo’s missus wouldn’t move up from London (daft bugger) and Diouf never really got a run in the side, so no surprise really when the wanted to move on. It’s the way of the modern player. New contracts for Jones and Collins are a major plus, as they’re both steady away Lads who bring the right attitude to the dressing room, training pitch, and players’ lounge, I expect. Benitez continued his ranting at just about everything and everybody, this time Spurs over an alleged approach for Robbie Keane. Now you know how we feel.

Basically, I and most of the football world can’t see the mags winning this one, but stranger things have happened. At least Ricky’s told the polis where they can stick their request to have our team safely in the broom cupboard that passes for an away dressing-room at the Piggery by about ten in the morning. Richo shows every sign of being fit, McShane might not start but has already won twice at that place this season, we’re on the mental up, they’re on the mental down.

Being a nervous sort when it comes to such occasions, I had a Jolly Boys’ bus trip to Wylam, just to try the beer in a couple of more than decent pubs there. That it’s deep in enemy territory had noting to do with my choice of destination – and I was drinking with Denty the mag anyway.

I didn’t sleep a wink last night, partly due to nerves, and partly due to my suffering from N’Zogbia.

After our hour and a bit trundle to the Landfill, and little abuse until the last few hundred yards (as they licked the windows of the Black Bull) it was up the stairs to level 7, and a nice view of Tyneside from way up high. Even Ben Fogle would have got altitude sickness. The team was as expected –

Fulop, Bardsley, Anton, Collins, George

Edwards Richo Deano Steed

Jones Cisse

They showed their total lack of class by bringing on a fat bloke in a football short to sing Blaydon Races, then we were off. After a few minutes of hit and hope, we settled a bit and Steed was nearly in, but Harper Hoofed the ball away. We won a free kick wide on the left, and when Ferdy bumped Harper he found himself booked, but only because they’d surrounded him and forced the ref’s hand – not for the first time, as we would find to our cost. Cisse’s first effort of the day was neither a pass to Jones nor a shot, then Steed dropped deep to put in a great tackle and set up Jones, but, despite another shaky Harper moment, the keeper held on to the ball. Jones looked to have his legs taken away on 10, but nothing was given, then Richo shot well wide.

As nobody sat down, we watched as several late ones went in on our Lads, all missed, then Fulop did well to take a header form a free-kick, but it was called offside anyway. Jones won a header and found Cisse, but the pass was wasted before they came forward but Ameobi’s attempt was easy for Fulop. Bardsly was booked for making sure Guttierez (Spelling, I know) didn’t get past by putting him into the hoardings. Then Keiran’s free was cleared off the line twice, giving us our first corner. In it came, and a shot was blocked. Carroll headed wide at one end, then Butt was booked as his obvious frustration turned into nastiness. Cisse broke through but was stopped by a good tackle, then Ameobi produced an awful scoop over the bar from a good position on the half hour after Taylor got away to cross. Jones and Cisse combined well for the latter to get in a shot from a ridiculous angle, and Harper tipped it over. The resultant corner was wasted, but five minutes later Cisse was through, round the keeper, and it was 1-0. We just about stopped ourselves from tumbling town the seats as we bounced in joy, and the home fans were stunned into silence. We played out the rest of the half on top, despite Richo being booked after producing a bad pass and trying to recover the ball.

Half time and we were well worth the lead. In fact, a second goal looked on the cards, but the home side came out much more organised, especially at the back, after the break. They won an early corner on their right which we cleared, and Djib made a long run on goal he poked his shot wide of the far post with Richo free in the middle. We got a bit desperate at the back as we headed over for a corner under a bit of pressure, then Duff was booked for diving in the box. Cisse fouled Bassong and seemed to turn his ankle in the process, lasting only another few minutes before being replaced by Chopra. Cometh the hour, cometh the man? We’ll see. We feared the worst when Jones stayed down after a heavy challenge just outside the box., but he was up as soon as the stretcher arrived, and back on the field a minute later.

As the game progressed, we struggled to dominate midfield chiefly due to giving away too many soft balls, but well backed up by Howard Webb’s decision to penalise everything Whitehead did. The Spaniard was causing us problems down their left, despite winning countless free kicks for leaning into his marker then falling over. The game’s first defining moment arrived on 66, when Taylor pulled Steed down, waved his arms in the air, and was awarded a penalty. Even Ameobi couldn’t miss that one.

Jones held off two defenders and shot over, then on 70 Reid replaced Carlos with Steed moving to the right. A free kick on the edge of the box was right in Richo territory, but his effort flew a yard or so wide. No repeat of derby day glory there. After a serious wobble by our team as a whole, Fulop mad a great save when a goal looked likely, then Reid twisted and turned to make space for a shot, but is was over. For a while we got back on top, then Chops won a 50 -50 with Collocini and burst through on goal. As we prepared to celebrate, he decided not to shoot from three yards, instead trying to pass to Jones, but the ball was way too strong. Did he bottle it? It certainly looked like it, and with five minutes only on the clock, it was the second defining moment of the game. Webb decided not to allow advantage when Ferdy was fouled in our box and we were fifty yards upfield when he blew, taking us right back.

After Leadbitter replaced Steed, there was a possible penalty when Chops seemed to be climbed all over as he approached goal, the Reid found Jones but Harper got there first. As the ref checked his watch, Reid hit a volley only inches past the post as we prepared to celebrate again.

Very disappointed not to have won, despite them having the better of the second half. We gave away far too much possession when not under pressure, but a point is more use to us than them, and the positive thing is that we played below ourselves, while they played above themselves. We can play better than that, they probably can’t.

Man of the Match? Richo did well in patches, and Deano filled in all over the middle of the park. I’ll probably give it to Ferdy, although keeping Ameobi quiet isn’t really much of an achievement. He was as calm as could be, though, and that’s a good thing.

The exit from the ground was one of the calmest I can remember, and we were on the road and moving 45 minutes after the whistle. Mind, we did have to evict a dozen or so who mistook us for one of the free buses. Others weren’t so lucky. Back in Bish, and there were two lads from Sunderland who’d been told to get on any bus, and then needed a whipround for a taxi home. The best Finny the mag could come up with was “that was a makeshift team, and you still couldn’t beat it” Fact is, Finny, that was the best eleven players you’ve got, and they can’t get any better. There’s only one way that lot are going, and it’s down. Shame it might not be far enough down.

I’m off to London tomorrow to take part on Setanta Sports Transfer Deadline Day Special from 3pm, so if you’ve got Setanta, tune in and hope they’ve sat me next to a mag. And I hope my head’s stopped hurting from hitting the roof.

Keep the Faith

Sobs

Sobs' Book click here...