Another week, another six-pointer. I write this as a winner of the Bishop Auckland Town Quiz. A winner for the second time in ten years, and no mean feat, as the contest has taken on the mantle of being one of the County’s top brain-teasing event. OK, so it was only a draw this year (much to the chagrin of Pete, aka the incredible sulk) as we hoyed away a six-point lead to end up level at the end, but I’ve since proved that Alaska’s coastline is in fact ten times the length of California’s. Naughty, naughty quizmaster, and a moral victory for the Barnstonworth United Supporters Club (including one with a BUFC shirt) even if the trophy aint that huge and we gave prize money back to the worthy cause.

So the England manager’s job seems to have been sorted out by the arrival of an Italian playboy type – described by Brain Barwick (of bomber command) as “a real coup.” While Capello might be the right bloke for the job, having an unemployed man accept a job offer with a salary of £6 a year is hardly difficult. Still, all the best to the man, and let’s hope that in a couple of years’ time I’m not treating England games as an excuse for a day out instead of a game that means something. Incidentally, Steve Gibson (decent bloke, wrong silly little club) has come out in the papers and binned the myth that Steve McLaren is a bit of a bumbling nice guy. “If McLaren said the grass was green, I’d have to go outside and check” was his line, and I have to agree with his sentiment that the England manager’s post should be your last job, not your next job – for an Englishman at least. On a similar note, good old Bobby Robson (another nice bloke, wrong shitty little club) received a “lifetime award” – presumably for retaining his dignity while having been employed by Hall and Shepherd. No mean feat, that. Bless the feller, he even managed to get in the papers saying that (as any fule kno) the stinky barcodes finished third, fourth, and fifth ( I think – even I’m not going to research that one) under his tutelage, but since then they’ve been shite. Not in so many words, but you got his drift.

A week to Christmas (near enough) and all Sunderland fans want is a decent run, in terms of points. Chelsea, despite my protestations to the contrary, was probably foregone conclusion, even if they are managed by Larry Grayson’s twin brother. Villa are one of the teams in that part of the Prem that we want to be part of – the nice, comfy middle bit. That bit where you know that a defeat will be followed by a win, and as such, it means that Villa are a dangerous set of opponents. Keano has been on the TV this week explaining how many players are on his shopping list, but steadfastly refusing to name them. With Dicka off for a six-week break in Africa, there’s obviously a need for cover there, as well as on the right as Carlos has proved to have legs made of lolly sticks. Maybe Dicka’s brother is on the list, having performed two (yes two) stopovers on MOTD last weekend while his big brother was bust knocking someone’s teeth out in a Norwich nightclub.

So, after a swift one in the Worm with VillaDave (he supports Villa, by the way) it was off to the match, where we spent the ten minutes before kick-off trying to work out who would play where, but they lined up:

Ward
Deano Higgi McShane Collins
Wallace Yorke Dicka Murphy
Stokes Jones

Kenwyne almost got through a couple of times early on, then Dwight took a boot to the guts when defending the first of many corners. He was up and running after having his nads stitched back on, and showed no ill effects. Wallace and Stokes showed some good interplay down the right, but the ball didn’t get into the box. Murphy won a corner on 7 minutes, but Higgi headed it wide. We then won a free kick which Wallace curled in only to see to cleared for a corner, but things took a decidedly jolly turn a couple of minutes later when we did what we do once a decade as Higgi rose from the penalty spot to head home.

Which was nice. And the cue for a quick text message to VillaDave. Yeehah, I think it said.

Villa came back at us and Deano headed (just) wide for a corner, then we produced a spell of decent passing in the centre but again didn’t get the ball into the box. Dicka gave away a daft free kick on their right, and it was Kenwyne’s turn to head away for a corner. Murphy produced a good run and cross, then Deano was booked when Young flung himself to the ground for the first of many times. The ball boys provided a period of sustained incompetence as they hit each other with the object of their efforts and generally fell over. The ref missed nowt, as they say, then Young had a lucky escape as he straddled the advertising hoardings, put there by McShane. Deano’s deep free kick was headed back in but Jones headed over. Villa pressed well down their left, their main source of danger, and their spell of pressure ended with a weak shot into Ward, but their next attack saw Darren tip a shot onto the post and away for another corner. As the half ticked away, Jones and Wallace had shots saved and Stokes (I think) headed home, only to be denied by an offside flag....and the bairn behind fell asleep.

1-0 at the break was about fair, as their pressure had produced little in the way of shots on target.

Wallace started the second period in determined fashion, working well to get in a shot that was well tipped over by either or both the keeper and defender, but a goal kick was awarded. The visitors were a bit livelier than in the first half, and it looked bad for us when Ward dropped the ball as he bumped into a red and white shirt, but we cleared. Great work by Wallace found Murphy but his decent looking cross was well taken and they broke again. This time Yorke got in a great tackle in the box to win the ball, and we were away again. On 60 minutes Leadbitter replaced Dick (who presumably had to report to the nearest police station at half four) and he immediately won a corner which he took himself, but the keeper was there again. Young swapped wings, so Wallace and Murphy did as well, then Chops replaced Stokes on 69 minutes. Then came the telling moment as we conceded a free kick on the edge of the box, right in Gareth Barry territory. As we shaped to cover his left foot effort, substitute Maloney nipped in and dinked the ball over the wall and in. Which was not nice. A good equaliser from their point of view, but not so good that their fans had a reason to invade the pitch and get hoyed out. Daft buggers.

Anyhow, the bairn behind was still asleep as Collins broke after a 1-2 and got in a cross to Jones who couldn’t get it to anybody, then Young was booked for pulling Leadbitter back as we broke out of defence. With eight minutes left Wallace was replaced by Cole and Murphy moved back out to the left after a spell in the centre. Cole whipped in a good cross but Leadbitter’s header was saved three minutes added time was announced. In the last of these, we slung in a left wing corner and the ball was headed in. Joy unbounded for ten seconds until we realised the ref had seen something in the melee that he didn’t like and disallowed it, meaning that I’d hugged a random stranger for no reason. I assume the bairn woke up at this point. I’d be ringing the doctor if he didn’t.

Damn, I thought we’d done it again, but a draw was probably a fair result. Fair, but not a lot of use with Wigan going daft and scoring five against Blackburn.

Man of the Match? I’d say Danny Collins again, probably because he’s developed a knack of being steady away week after week, and adding a decent overlap to his game.

Keep the faith

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